Of potty and pee breaks

Two and up is the ripe old age of learning the bio mechanisms of the little body, studies and surveys suggest. And mothers believe them as they do believe that the sun is standing still at the centre of the solar system. Trials and tribulations, accidents outside the pot and absolute defiance make the potpourri of lives of moms and their toddlers at this stage. In this part of the world, none of it matters.

While there are semi outrages against the diaper, there is an ambivalence of acceptance of facts and figuratives. The cold Austrian winter is not the time to attempt potty and pee training. This mom is neither a freak nor a supermom to try it either. This post is thus not about the little man's trying times, it is about the mother's.

Once you have a baby, notorious stories about moms skipping showers for days, till before she screams for help abounds. Forget showers, i say. What about pee-breaks and potty-breaks? This little man would invariably wake up the moment the mom used to step out of the bed for a pee-break. After a couple of days, the crying would become a natural alarm for the grandparents on the above floor.

Things got only minuscule better as the days advanced. The little man began to crawl, then toddle and finally walk to the closed bathroom door and wail inconsolably, even when the father was present right beside him. The mom often had an ominous feeling of imminent child protection unit knocking at the door. Bless the poop it never happened.

That brings us to the unholy aspect of what i call the privilege of potty. The wailing was no different in this case. The difficulty was the fact of time that it needed. There is no elegant way of saying this but that, the peace of potty as essayed by Gopal bhanr* in his stories, is lost once you become a mother.

The realisation that the bodily mechanisms of a mother have to be moulded to the rhythms of the baby's life, comes with much practice and a sense of nirvana.Training your body to answer to nature's call only if  it suits the baby's schedule is a monumental achievement for which knighthood may as well be bestowed.

Next time some dork passes you a wretched line, answer back,  "How long can you hold back your potty?" I believe your line will score an under the belt point unquestionably.

Oh, and by the way, the sun is not really static. It goes around the milky way galaxy every 230 million years.

*Gopal bhnar was asked by the King of Krishnanagar, that, how does he feel at the birth of the prince. Gopal replied gleefully that the joy he felt is like the one he feels once his bowels are clear. The King took offence at Gopal's choice of simile and was very angry. Shortly thereafter, one day the King and Gopal were travelling by boat when the King felt the nature's call. The boat was shored and the King could have his bowels cleared. Then, Gopal asked the King, how do you feel now? The King replied with satisfaction that he felt very happy. Gopal then brought up the topic of simile he used at the news of the prince's birth, and the King accepted the aptness of the simile.